Wednesday, August 18, 2010


Back in California where I am fluent in the local dialect.

Back to the grindstone of my everyday life...which is anything but ordinary.

Thank you for following my blog.

Check in from time to time as I may feel the urge to update with odd musings or anecdotes to life's most puzzling questions:)

Happy reading:)

Monday, August 16, 2010

Day six – itchy

I am figuring that I am a pretty tasty Californian, well at least for the critters in these parts. I have bug bites on top of bug bites. Luckily the shade of pink that the calamine lotion tints my skin is very much my color. Please say you heard the sarcasm there. I look like a lumpy pink marshmallow.

Did you know that if you catch a jar full of lightening bugs, you can actually have a small nightlight by your bed? Just gently catch a bug that has lit itself up in hopes of gaining a mate, carefully place it in one of the plentiful mason jars to be found in any home, and cover with foil. Don’t forget to put a couple of holes in the foil, not so big you have bugs flying about your room, and you will have a soft haze reminiscent of the sixties. Not that I remember…

My last day in Kentucky leaves me short on humor.
I will surely miss the kind people and the raw beauty of the land. I hope to visit again soon.

Happy reading:)

P.S. My travel blog is not over until my flight lands if SFO. One never knows what interesting things might happen between now and then.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Day 5 – hmmm

This days blog will include some musings about Kentucky. Just a few things I noticed while out and about.

Interestingly enough I spotted a drive thru funeral home. Logistically how this is done I haven’t got a clue, nor was I willing to investigate further.

Happy cows come from California right? I might beg to differ. See this here state of Kentucky is the largest producer of fine bourbons…and their largest export is beef…just follow along I will get to the point in a minute. The main ingredients in bourbon are corn, rye, wheat and barley, but the most important is the iron free limestone water found in Kentucky. The ingredients, though essential, are also the residual by-product of the completed Bourbon. Now, guess what the distilleries do with the left over by-product? Why they feed it to their beef cattle. Now in my book, that would make for happy cows.

Have a craving for a perfectly chilled glass of wine of a Sunday in Kentucky? Too bad. No alcohol sales allowed on Sundays. My friend’s motto: be prepared.

Seeing as how the majority of the lakes abut cattle land, and the cattle know how to swim here, I have to admit, catfish has moved to the bottom of my list of items to eat when visiting.

A copperhead’s head is not always necessarily copper colored. Any form of brown will do. So when I see a snake here, I scream and run, no questions asked.

Based on the size of the squirrels ‘round these parts, I must say, it would take about two and a half to feed me. The conclusion I draw from this? I think these folks are pulling my leg, they don’t eat squirrel…maybe possum, but not squirrel. Either way, I don’t care if it tastes just like chicken, I’ll stick to salads thank you.

Happy reading:)

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Day four - the rest

The plan of running to the dirt track turned into running to the drag races. Ever been? Loud, exhilarating, loud, exciting, and did I mention loud? If you get the chance give it a shot, but one note from a seasoned drag strip attendee…don’t take a deep breath around the time of the green light. Not good, not good at all. I’m pretty sure I inhaled enough carcinogenic air to make my lungs look like a pack a day smokers lungs.

After massive inhalation of fumes and many ohs and ahs later, my cell phone…oops in Kentucky, I meant my cellular phone, went nuts. Texts, voicemails, etc. Evidently the back yard of my home in Copper was on fire, CalFire was on the way, aircraft were involved and I was helpless. I sat in my rental car fielding multiple messages while trying to get real time information when the car radio blared an emergency broadcast. You know the kind, the annoying beep, beep, beep, then the “this is a test of the emergency broadcast system.” Well at least that’s what we hear in California, here in Kentucky it’s the real thing followed by the ever helpful where to run and hide information.

Bring it on.

After clicking my heels together three times wishing for home didn’t work, I tried plan ‘B’, drive like the dickens in front of the storm and beat it home. It was worth a shot. An hour later, safe and sound, I am towel dried and wishing I had some of that special Kentucky lemonade.

Happy reading:)

P.S. Thanks to all of you for your calls and your support. And thank you Copperopolis Fire District and CalFire for your awesome response time and your expertise!

Day four – losing count…vacation does that to you

Well last night I joined a couple for dinner and was serenaded by their 18 year old son playing Johnny Cash so well, Johnny himself would have been proud. If that was not enough he picked up his banjo and picked some dueling banjos. He then added in some of his own repertoire and the evening was complete.

There was one down side. I woke at 10:00 am again. Must have been that chilled apple butter cider. Is nothing sacred in these here parts?

That tidbit leads up to today’s interesting look into small town politics.

Okay, so the county that I am staying in boasts among other things, the largest still ever confiscated within the state of Kentucky. So impressive, it was reassembled and sits today in a place of honor in the Kentucky State museum. With that said, this is a dry county. No booze allowed…at all. Hmmmm..

Recently the folks of the town decided they were tired of driving over the county line to pick up a beer or two and started a petition to revoke the ‘dry county’ standing. It was the first time in the history of this county that the bootleggers and the preachers united for a single cause. The preachers wanted no booze, the bootleggers wanted to keep their livelihood, albeit illegal, but still a livelihood. The petition failed, and the bootleggers found a new audience…women. What was once a concoction so foul a mere sniff of it would burn the sensitive hairs from inside your nose now comes in a variety of flavors; watermelon, strawberry, lemonade, and apple butter cider. I think I will stick to bottled water for the remainder of my trip.

I did always find it strange that the stores in this area carry a large stock of quart mason jars…year round.

Oh another addition to my ever growing Kentucky dictionary, just in case you haven’t heard this one..

Saying: Doesn’t that beat all the cats eatin’ the gravy?
Definition: Wow.

Happy readin’:)

P.S. Off to dirt track racing, the beginning of Nascar so I’m told…sacred around these parts, I cannot poke fun at that for fear of retaliation.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Day three - continued

After about a gallon of non-Starbucks coffee, I am vertical and mobile. My friend is taking me to lunch and on a tour of the countryside today. I can only hope no winding roads are involved.

Off to get some shots of Unca Dan’s swimmin’ cows up on Trottin’ Ridge. Then headed o’er to Possum Run to see a hillside covered in cudd su. See…I AM bilingual. I actually knew what I was saying.

Passing sign after sign advertising fried catfish, fried okra, fried chicken , and fried squirrel (just joking on the squirrel) I was pleasantly surprised when my friend pulled into the parking lot of a Japanese Hibachi restaurant. Whew…something I am somewhat familiar with. Ever heard a hibachi chef with a southern accent? Blame it on the residual moonshine pumping through my system, but I found it pretty darn cute.

So here I sit…on the top of a knoll…stuffed…awaiting a tornado. It’s not happening. At 94 degrees with 84% humidity this California girl only lasted 25 minutes waiting for said mysterious tornado. Saw some cool cloud formations though and heard the rumbling of thunder, but thankfully no twister. I can now safely check tornado chasing off my bucket list.

Oh did I mention the ac in the house I am staying is out? Yup. Not working. On the fritz. Kaput. Did I also mention its 94 flippin’ degrees out with 84% humidity? I know I did, I was simply repeating it for added impact. So this wonderful new avon moisturizer that I carefully repacked into a less than three ounce container so that I could carry it on the flight saving a luggage fee is now slowly sliding off of my face.

Added a new word to my Kentucky dictionary today.
Us- a tree
Kentucky- a worthless nut
Therefore it is an insult to be called a Buckeye. Whereas an Ohioan may disagree. ( They are, I believe, known as the buckeye state.)

Happy reading:)

Day three - slow start

Unwittingly served lemonade last night at a gathering.
I woke up at ten am!
It was lemonade flavored moonshine!
I knew it tasted a bit off:)

Posts might be slow in the coming today, LOL

Off to see the other side of town through a holler up on a rise to "tornado watch."
Not sure if that is supposed to be fun or simply stupid.
(Thinking stupid in my sluggish state.)

Happy reading:)

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Day two - no mullet

No mullet! I’m not sure about you, but that’s extremely good news for me!

Back to the ‘kin to mother nature’ thing…. Each stop I made; hair salon, market, gas station, besides hearing the usual “Y’all ain’t from around ‘ere are ya?” (Geez, like I have a sticker on my head ‘made in California’) there was the added talk of an impending tornado. Eyes looking skyward while whistling and shuffling my feet innocently, I was hoping people were not making the connection between the impending twister and my visit. I am starting to get a complex here.

So, what to do while waiting for a possible twister? Soak in a friends pool of course. That would be a friend with a basement; friends with benefits takes on a whole new meaning round these parts. Pools and basements rank way up there in the benefit department. Just FYI, teeth are pretty low on that list.

No tornado…yet. But a thunder storm that shook the house hard to enough to remind me of the Loma Prieta earthquake. Thank goodness for good old Kentucky construction.

As an added note: after talking with a few folks in town it quickly became evident that nicknames were quite prevalent in these here parts. Not unlike truck drivers, many people have call signs such as: slim, hee haw, bumblebee, macy, mo, and boner.

I will leave you with that.

Happy reading:)

Day One - travel

Well, Phyllis Diller hair was a non issue the minute I stepped outside into the wonderful coastal foggy air in San Francisco. My hair resembled, much to my dismay, a horrible imitation of the ‘60’s greasy, hanging in the eyes, hippy look. Classy, real classy.
Being one of those annoying ‘morning people,’ I chatted it up with an innocent victim next to me on the shuttle, waking him up against his will and causing me to miss my airline stop. I quickly found myself alone on the shuttle. I got a nice tour of the parking terminal routes.
Tucked into my seat at the airport, the one with the best people watching view I began to ponder the livelihoods, and dreams of some of the people around me. The exhausted parents dealing with screaming children, Mickey Mouse paraphernalia surrounding them, looking heavenward wondering if their whole vacation was going to involve screaming children. Yup…been there, done that. A vacation with children should come under a totally different heading…like maybe fakation. After all it’s not really a vacation in the true sense of the word. My definition always involves some sort of serenity and a beach, have to have a beach. Oh, and don’t forget the wine.
Landed in another dimension, better known as Kentucky. Louisville to be exact. But don't for heaven's sake make the same mistake I did by pronouncing it correctly, nooo the proper pronunciation of Louisville is louvul. Got that? its tough...i know.
People enjoy life SLOWLY here in this neck of the woods. This Californian needs to put on the brakes. When was the last time you heard someone say, or had the time to say, the full name for cell phone or car? Can’t think of the full name? Its “cellular phone” and “automobile.”
Called a friend here to let her know I was in town. She said “I figured. A storm was a brewin’.” A small town joke for those that know me here. Seems the last three times I have visited the storms that have hit the area have gotten progressively worse, from thunder, lightning and a deluge of rain, to a tornado whipping through town. I’m beginning to wonder if they think I’m kin to mother nature herself.
Getting my hair cut tomorrow in town. I am keeping my fingers crossed that I will not come out of the salon with a mullet.

Happy reading:)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Morning UGH

Seriously rethinking my brilliant plan of hotel vs early travel departure from home. First off who can really sleep in a hotel when an exciting trip is looming in their thoughts? Second, I forgot to pack a hairbrush. Have you ever tried to style your hair without a hair brush? Can you say Phyllis Diller?

Happy reading:)

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Travel 101

Ok, so I may not be a seasoned traveler but I travel enough to know to check the weather of our destination prior to travel. Well what do you think I forgot to do this time?
Thats right folks, this trip I will be treated to the beauty of Mother Nature with predicted thunder, lightening and rain! For the next five days....and me with a bathing suit.
Guess I'll have to dance in the rain.

Happy reading:)

Hotel wins

Well, it was a pretty easy decision actually, cocktails at a nice hotel the evening prior to an early morning flight or attempt to go to bed early, wake up at 2 am and drive two and a half hours to SFO.

With that life altering decision made I went about cleaning. I am suffering some odd nesting complex, the kind a women feels right before delivery? Yeah, that one. I have vacumed, mopped, and dusted every non movable object in my home, and some moveable...have you ever vacummed your dog? So now I have a clean home that I am not going to be able to enjoy, my house guests will, but me? No.

Packing is always its own form of travel torture. What started as an entire wardrobe packed into a 50 pound bag has miraculously dwindled down to a 10 pound backpack. I'm that good. Hey, its vacation...I need my ticket, my ID and my swimsuit....right?

Happy reading:)

Monday, August 9, 2010

Time to travel

So here it day prior to travel and I am left wondering... hotel or hit the road at 2:00 am?
If you live in the foothills you get this, if not, just keep reading, you'll catch on.
With a minimum two hour drive to get to the nearest airport not including parking, shuttle and check in, its necessary to leave the beautiful Northern California foothills at approximately zero dark thirty to arrive at SFO for a 6:00 am flight.
What idiot booked a 6:00 am flight you ask?
Well, that would be me.
In an effort to get to an area that has some semblance of green I managed to not only book a 6:00 am flight, but one with a two hour layover in Dallas! Can you say "Yeehaw?"
Fortunatly for me I am now tethered. Yes, my i phone and my computer now have an intimate relationship. It works for me:)
To follow me on my journey to another land (Kentucky)and live vicariously through my adventure keep checking in.
As always...happy reading:)